So, news broke this week that Matt Nathanson is FINALLY releasing another single. Falling Apart is going to usher us into the summer! I can only consider this the best birthday present ever, since Come On Get Higher long ago entered dangerously overplayed status for me, so this news leaves me positively thrilled.
I was going to make a pro and con list, but can see nothing but pros thus far. It's the perfect summer song. Great energy, catchy, perfect for highlighting during the billions of tour dates that he has lined up. It'll take me awhile to get tired of hearing it during every tv performance that he does, and the pictures from the video shoot look promising. I love when a series of videos has some sort of continuity to them, and since the same model that was featured in the Come On Get Higher video was also hired for this one, I have incredibly high hopes!
There has been other stuff going on. Life and love (and lack thereof) and things of that nature, but this new single is the best news I've gotten all week! (The second best news was the announcement of the In the Heights tour, but that is another entry all together and will be coming soon!) For now, go ahead and get acquainted with this song before you start hearing it on the radio and wondering who the hell is singing it.
Let me preface this by saying I'm hardly a connoisseur of music journalism. I'm not a connoisseur of music journalism for the simple fact that it peaked somewhere in the early 90's, which can also be earmarked as the true dying days of Rolling Stone being somewhat credible. Since then I regularly read Blender, but admittedly for the funny commentary and not any genuine insight into the state of music, or the industry, or anything that actually matters to me as a music fan.
That said, I recently stumbled across an article by Boston Globe writer Joan Anderman, and have not felt so genuinely compelled to respond to an article in more than a decade. Let's take a look, shall we?
In August I dutifully arrived at the Rod Stewart show at the Comcast Center in time to catch the opening act, Josh Kelley. Kelley, known to gossip hounds as Mr. Katherine Heigl, is a singer-songwriter. He writes pop-rock tunes, plays the guitar and the piano, and sings well. He's attractive and personable. His songs are sturdy and pretty. And he makes me feel . . . nothing.
Nothing is worse than feeling nothing at a concert. If you hate a band, at least you can whine about it to your friend in the next seat, and if you're me, you can register a public complaint in the newspaper. And odds are good I'll receive plenty of mail from readers who love the band just as much as I don't love the band, which confirms my view that music that makes somebody feel something is worth listening to.
Listening to Kelley, I just felt empty, and I found myself marveling once again that he and his ilk have become the mainstream standard-bearers for the genre.
"Garden-variety" is the term I used to describe Kelley in my review of the show - i.e. common, ordinary, of no special quality or type, according to the dictionary. And he's not alone.
So up until here I have no complaints. I've never found Josh Kelley overly burdened with talent, and have been genuinely more entertained by other artists telling stories of him stumbling around the Rock Boat completely tanked than I have been by his cds. A quick search of Joan Anderman's other articles for The Globe reveal that as many times as she finds reason to reference Josh in articles that have little to do with him, she trots out the "Mr. Katherine Heigl" moniker as if he's showing up in the pages of the Enquirer with nothing but that to carry him. I read my tabloids, girlie, can't remember the last time I even saw an article on Katherine, much less on Josh and trust me I'm no fan of hers either, so I'm on the lookout.
Another quick search gets much deeper to the root of what we're dealing with here. The review of the Rod Stewart show in question was largely positive, and very indicative of someone who has clearly had a lot of years to get familiar with his catalog. My knowledge of Stewart largely consists of people singing "Maggie May" to me on a regular basis, a Tom Waits cover that was better off left alone, and a daughter that looks like a cocker spaniel.
The description suits a whole slew of singer-songwriters making the rounds of theaters, airwaves, and soundtracks with their inoffensive, unremarkable, soul-numbing songs.
Matt Nathanson, a Lexington native who lives in San Francisco, performs a sold-out show at Berklee Performance Center tonight, the same night Howie Day plays at Northeastern University's Blackman Auditorium. Jason Mraz comes through town Oct. 17 for a show at the Orpheum, also sold out. Matt Wertz has been on the road opening for Gavin DeGraw, Mat Kearney is making a new record, and Josh Hoge just put an album out. Ari Hest, exhibiting a flash of ingenuity, has been writing and releasing a song a week this year.
All of these artists are competent. None of them has a sound.
Okay wait...what?
Hold the phone.
This is the point where I put down my glass of water and almost laughed and ended my own life by choking.I mean...seriously? Maybe someone spent too much time in her late 20's in the 80's listening to arena rock and hair bands and therefore has some damaged ear drums that led to making such a sweeping generalization on such a wide range of artists. I'm friends with a lot of musicians, or very involved music fans. I myself am someone as versed in the discography of everyone from the likes of Britney Spears, Jay-Z and Fiona Apple as I am with those of Matt Nathanson, Death Cab for Cutie, and Hit the Lights. I'm hardly a musical elitist, I just can't seem to consume enough of it. Granted, some of it is completely lost on me - the majority of country music, screaming rock anthems, and the Dave Matthews Band for a general cross section, but I know enough to know who is who when I'm stuck in traffic and hit the scan button and it settles on a station that I never listen to.
We all know that I could go on for days about the mere passing mention of Matt Nathanson, but let me just sum it up by saying that someone who can't seem to find a unique sound would never be able to sustain a career that's now spanning 15 years and was built solely on crisscrossing the country and selling out rooms wherever he goes. Howie Day may have hit the mainstream with the generally generic "Collide" but his first album showcased his unique abilities as a writer and singer in songs such as "Sorry So Sorry" and "Kristina". Hearing him pound out "Sorry So Sorry" live could put anyone's doubts to rest.
Jason Mraz has hit his stride with his new record and the reworked version of "I'm Yours" but is another artist who, with his own blend of wordplay and quick beats over his guitar playing has carved out his own niche that makes him another sure sell out road act each and every summer. Mraz has a quick tongue and churns out gems on his albums that range from quiet love songs to stumble over your own tongue rhymes and slick and sexy ballads. I don't remember anyone ever confusing a Mraz tune for a Mayer tune, even in the "Remedy" days.
I'm hardly a huge Gavin Degraw lover (I leave that for Nikki of course), but there's no denying that he's probably got the strongest voice out of his entire genre of young singer songwriters. He can literally sing the hell out of anything, from the defiant and slightly cocky "I Don't Want to Be", to a cover of "A Change Is Gonna Come" that Sam Cooke himself would approve of.
The point of this is that the genre itself is deep and unique. Insisting that this crop of artists have no unique sound is about as ridiculous as getting a Jay-Z song confused with a Soulja Boy song, just because they happen to file into the same genre when you're browsing through the iTunes store.
They seem for all the world to be using a template to write their songs. Sit down to listen to a batch of them at the same time, and you'll notice that the same pattern crops up again and again, usually in the chorus. It's made of four chords that repeat in a cycle, sometimes tenderly and sometimes forcefully but always winsomely, suggesting lost love or found love or the bad love that inspired him - no, impelled him - to write this song.
As wrong and this woman is, this argument can be applied to any genre of music. During the reign of pop it was largely argued that every pop hit was composed of the same few chords and key changes. With some slick production and a catchy hook, anyone could have a number one song. During the reign of rap it was the era of a sample. Grab a beat, obtain a sample, enjoy the millions rolling in. This is not new information, sweetie.
Love songs will always be the ones that get people talking, because those are the songs that everyone can relate to. If Jason Mraz wrote "Remedy" (a song about a close friend fighting cancer) 14 times over and released it as an album, he would have never had the chance to make a second record. If John Mayer had released a handful of albums consisting of different versions of "Your Body Is A Wonderland", he'd still be playing at coffee shops in Atlanta on nightly basis. Being cute and holding a guitar may work as a novelty for a little while, but is hardly enough to grant you the ability to tour the country and live comfortably when not doing so, especially not in this day and age. Let's face it, they all can't have the ability to churn out such obscenely creative jams as "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?", but they do what they can to entertain those that somehow manage to find meaning in their meaningless and talentless songs, you know?
I don't buy it. This musician has studied hard. His introspective lyrics read like a composite of sensitive-guy clichés. He doesn't so much sing from the gut as use his voice, expertly, in the service of a sentiment. It cracks just so to evoke his broken heart and grows bold when it's time to be strong. He's a little soulful, a little wounded, totally ready to be saved, and with the help of a skilled producer he pushes people's buttons - especially those belonging to young women, a demographic that's especially susceptible to a cute boy's connect-the-dots charms.
And who can blame them? These guys get the job done. It's like the recipe for McDonald's Secret Sauce; you can count on it. It tastes the same every time. Nobody clamors for new ingredients every time they order a Big Mac, because reliability is a good thing when it comes to fast food. But sameness is depressing when it defines an art form where emotional veracity has always been the most compelling piece.
Singer songwriters are not the new bubble gum pop stars. The guitar boy equivalent of Lou Pearlman is not sitting behind a desk holding auditions at theme parks for the next group of boys he can clean up, give a Fender and an MTV reality show to, send to Max Martin, and then swim in the millions he makes off of them like it's the beginning of Ducktales and he's Scrooge McDuck. This would be valid if I walked into a store and was faced with seeing Jason Mraz and Gavin DeGraw lip gloss, or John Mayer and Matt Nathanson lollipops that I could buy to enjoy while watching Josh Kelley's feature film about traveling the country with some of his friends to find his long lost mother.
This is not 1999 and Howie Day will never sell 2.1 million records in a week. There is no longer endless money to be made for getting air headed teenage girls to stand outside of the MTV studios for you. To put it into reference the writer may understand better, this is not the same thing as anxiously awaiting Davy Jones' appearance on the Brady Bunch because he's OMG SO DREAMY! I blame John Mayer. He paved the way for this wave of well-groomed troubadours with the unlikely success of his 2001 album, "Room For Squares." Mayer is a better musician than the lot of them, but the mass appeal of his sweet strummed pop tunes triggered a record-label spending spree on cookie-cutter tunesmiths. And it's working, because in this era of branding and multi-platform careerism, originality isn't the goal. Quite the opposite: The business needs innocuous, multipurpose songs that can service radio formats, dorm rooms, television dramas, film credits, and iPod ads.
The original pop troubadours carved their niche (and set the bar high) with distinctive visions spanning the literate commentary of Jackson Browne, James Taylor's graceful meditations, and fiery soul-searching from Cat Stevens. And there are formidable talents working today, among them Conor Oberst, Damien Rice, Tom McRae, Joseph Arthur, and Rufus Wainwright. Which makes it even harder to listen to the assembly-line sentiments and achingly familiar refrains of the Mayer descendants.
Ugh. I'll give you Damien Rice and Joseph Arthur. Those two have moments of pure transcendence on their albums. But Conor Oberst? Really? That almost negates the rest of the list for me. I do enjoy a couple of Bright Eyes songs, but holy Christ, pulling that name for a list of formidable talents making the rounds today is almost like putting Hanson on a pedestal or loving the Terrence Howard record...oh wait, Anderman already did that in previous articles. I guess somehow those two artists managed to avoid the trappings of the terrible pre packaged singer songwriters that you can't help but be overrun with these days.
There's enough wallpaper in the world; we don't need uniformity from the very people who are meant to be scouring their hearts and baring their souls in song. But that venerable task has been co-opted, at least in part, by music supervisors looking for a faux-emotional tune to underscore the season's faux-emotional teen drama, and nervous music execs hoping to reach the most people with the least distinguished palette of sounds.
It's bad math for music lovers, but it adds up in the short term, and these days that seems to be the main frame of reference.
To sum this all up somehow, I'll say this: if this writer wanted to bash an entire genre of music based on it's depth and genuine contribution to music a whole, she was way off base to pick this one. Go to a Matt Nathanson show, watch him play upwards of 30 songs that he himself wrote from the ground up, and then tell me that he's in it for the money and not for the genuine love for music and his gift for sharing it. Listen to a live Mraz record from top to bottom and tell me that he isn't a great lyricist and and amazing vocalist. Sure John Mayer has become commercialized and trite, but he wasn't always that way and with any hope the other greats in his genre will never see that side of themselves.
Being that Anderman still finds Motley Crue culturally relevant none of that is likely. Writing a badly researched and completely off base article damning an entire genre of music isn't exactly a reflection of a well rounded music fan, much less one that should be writing for a major newspaper.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some cds to listen to.
Alright, this one is totally for me. To save others from the depths of my obsession, I'm putting this behind a cut! But click it, I promise you entertainment.
Anyone who knows me know that I'm beyond obsessed with Matt Nathanson. I could (and most of the time do) ramble on and on about how awesome he is for days on end. I thought about compiling a best of his performances playlist, but literally, I think I'd pull performances of every song he's EVER done. He's that good, and I cannot choose. So, I thought as an alternative, I'd throw together (in no particular order) some playlists of the things that make going to see him so incredibly fun: the hilarious banter, and the random, sometimes completely off the cuff and damn entertaining covers. I love this guy!
The videos above represent some of the best moments of banter from some of Matt's live shows. There is definitely no shortage of videos here, and even a site that features quotes from his shows. I've never come across an artist who plays off of audience comments as flawlessly as Matt does. He's also known for his impromptu songs about the city he's in. The infamous Philadelphia song is feature on his Myspace page as well as the Live at the Point record. Other honorable mentions include Oh, Elon, and the San Franciso song. Good times. Enjoy!
1. A fun few minutes near the end of one of his hometown shows in San Fran. Features "...I have cds for sale too, but you know what? Just burn them." "You want to lick my olives? This is dirty and wonderful! This is a bullseye, baby. I want you to shoot your love rocket right to me." "This is a song that someone else wanted to hear. I'm gonna play it, and then I'm gonna fucking ROCK YOU!"
2. If you go to a Matt show, get ready to hear people screaming out covers for him to do. Sometimes he's down, sometimes he's not. Listen to the following exchange as someone totally screws up requesting "When Doves Cry."
3. There are some shows where saying fuck and vagina all the time are just not welcome. This is one of them. Watch as Matt introduces "Lose Myself In Search Of You" in the most PG way he knows how. "This is a song about a monster truck that cheats on another monster truck!" "You're a wanton truck. You're a very loose truck. You need your bearings tightened....truck."
4. Matt deconstructs Enrique Iglesias' song Hero. I suppose this one could go under the covers list, but as he breaks down the lyrics it just gets funnier and funnier. "Would you run, if I slipped you a roofie?" "What the fuck, you just asked this girl to dance and run. She's exhausted. Then you ask her to cry. You're such a dick." "I'll tell you what, he sings the shit out of that song, I haven't cried like that since "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain."
5. Matt has a song called Angel that sounds suspiciously like Hey There Delilah. Here, he explains why.
6. The Care Bear rant. Probably my FAVORITE bit of Matt banter ever. I'm not sure why. I think it's just how genuinely frustrated and angry he gets about Grumpy Bear. "This was given to me by a guy, a fan...who apparently thought I was the biggest dick on earth!"
7. There's a ton of banter here from a show in a parking lot in Symrna. He hilariously banters back and forth with an incredibly drunk guy who can't keep his mouth shut, "Let's pass the talking stick to me. I'll be your man, but just be silently by my side," talks about the Rock of Love, "He's trying to date a bunch of women who are stuck in 1983," Hulk Hogan's divorce, and being an emo kid, "Inside I have a darkness that you don't know...that's dorky."
8. Intro to Laid: "This is like an orgy situation, and if one person doesn't pull their weight, the orgy suffers." "I see that only the sexy people are singing. Only the people that have pleased their lovers during sex are singing."
9. More banter from Symrna, this time pulling out a G rated intro to Come On Get Higher after he notices a kid in the crowd. "I could take a little less guitar, a little more of the girl asking to make out with me, and a little more of the vocal." "I feel like I'm in Bambi. How old are you, little man. 5? This song is about ice cream! This song is about ice cream and togetherness, and how mom and daddy made you!"
10. Matt does not respond well to being told what to do by a fan. "I didn't get the email that said I do whatever you want."
11. This is from the show that I went to in Cleveland. First he quiets the largely drunk crowd who braved the ice storm or the "snice storm" as he called it to get there, "I can't hear a thing you're saying....especially when you're yelling other peoples songs." Then explains to us all the plot of The Hills Have Eyes 2, which was featured that month on HBO. "Has anyone ever seen the movie The Hills Have Eyes 2? Don't ever watch it."
12. A pretty girl catches Matt's eye and the following ensues as he discusses "The portal of hot" where she came from. "She's just walking out the door, just hot and...leaving." Then he discusses Direct TV, popping your collar, and murdering and eating children.
Bonus video! (Only because it's not able to be embedded:)
From Irving Plaza in NYC. The intros to Come On Get Higher are always dirty, tmi, and hilarious. "Fuck you, I don't jack off into socks! I've seen other...I haven't SEEN anybody do it, I've heard tour stories..." "You want to be my sock? Thank you. I can't even see you but I love that your vagina is like a sock. No, no. Your vagina isn't like a sock...fuck I can't talk today."
Now on to the covers! They're not always fully realized, and some of them are completely random and off the cuff, but you're always guaranteed a few classics from the 80s and later when you're at a Nathanson show. There are tons of these. Way more than I even could post here. He's always covering something.
1. Matt busts out a little R Kelly and then expresses his desire to be able to cover a Mariah Carey song, We Belong Together. "What I like about that song is that like 6 people wrote it. That's talent...kind of."
2. Laid, also known as "The Song". He will often point out during a show if he is or isn't going to play "The Song." It was covered by him for the American Wedding soundtrack, and is by far a fan favorite. "If you think about it, the third line of this song is the best line ever written by anyone ever in a pop song," and he clearly loves to sing that line.
3. Armageddon It / Livin' On A Prayer: What I love the most about this is the dorky guitar boy rambles about the key change in Armageddon It. Adorable, and he warns the crowd "Don't get bored!" As he breaks it down, then segues into Livin' On A Prayer. "This sold 17 million records, you should all know it." "I play Utah a lot...you sing like Mormons. This is an emotional time for Tommy and Gina, I think they deserve a fucking sing a long."
4. Laid is the most famous cover, but Don't Stop Believin' is probably the only one that garners a bigger crowd reaction. Who doesn't love to sing this song?
5. Paradise City. This video is totally worth it for the surprised reaction when Aaron Tapp takes over.
6. This is another one from my show! Similar reaction as the one in the Paradise City video, but it all falls apart when they get to the bridge and Matt decides they can't hang.
7. Kids In America is now a staple in the center of Detroit Waves, and I love it every time.
8. Jesse's Girl - This comes at the tail end of Princess almost every time now, so you have to fast forward a bit to get to it. But for some reason, he laughs through it every time he does it.
9. Romeo and Juliet - I was lucky enough to see this one live as well, but this version isn't from my show. It's also available on the Live at the Point cd. So good.
10. I'm not even sure what song this is...in point of fact, neither is Matt.
11. Kiss Me Deadly - Clearly this one wasn't planned.
12. Hungry Like The Wolf - from the Rock Boat. He's been doing this one for awhile, usually as a smarmy lounge version... sometimes it's hard to believe that he doesn't drink.
13. La Bamba - This song is so obnoxious, but it's cute when he stops, the audience keeps singing and he just goes "Oh fuck."
14. Dancing With Myself - this is one of my favorite songs, and while the Nouvelle Vague version is by far my favorite, watching Matt bounce around to it is just as fun!
15. Take Me Out - another totally impromptu one, thanks Aaron Tapp for pointing out where it was headed.
16. Heaven - Another tangent about awesome chord changes.
17. Lose Yourself - The sound isn't so great for this one, but Matt talks about battle rapping, and really, who doesn't know all of the words to this song anyway.
18. Hangar 18 - It's a Megadeath song, and Matt's alternate version of singing the ingredients off of a soup can are pretty funny, as is his chatter about the 18 minute long guitar solo.
19. Lost Without You - Apparently not a fan of Robin Thicke. "Do you know that song? No? Good for you. Stay away from it!"
20. Since You're Gone - Totally off the cuff and another figuring it out on the spot one.
Whew, I feel better having gotten all of that off of my chest.
Matt Nathanson Matt Morris Matt Wertz Matt Strief Mat Kearny Matt Cusson Matt Costa Matt White Matt McIntosh Matt Woods
It seems to me that a certain name seems to mean you're predestined for singer/songwriterness. It's odd how in your life, certain names will always be associated with a certain stigma. For example, I've never met a guy named Corey that I haven't absolutely loved. I've never met a Patrick that hasn't been disgustingly hot. (Heh.) Nikki and I were talking about the artists I've been picking up due to my obsessive Pandora listening, and its odd how there are so many musically talented Matt's out there!
However, Pandora has also brought me to a host of other artists, namely Andy Davis. His song "Please Turn Red" is my newest obsession. It's gorgeous and sad and amazing.
"With what?" you may be asking yourself. "Your writing?" Boy howdy, is that NOT the case. But here are a few things that have been occupying my time instead:
I've been watching: Limited Olympic coverage. Very limited. Mostly women's gymnastics and whatever they make me watch between those events. Michael Phelps has really made me realize how shallow I am. That gorgeous body means nothing to me with that face attached to it, sadly. Otherwise, Flipping Out on Bravo took over my life for awhile. That season is finally over, and the only thing I really remember cracking up at during the reunion was when Jeff said that he taught Ryan's daughter Chloe to lift up her dress when he says "Girls gone wild!" Hilariousness. My quest to rewatch Buffy has apparently ended a couple of episodes in to season 6, and now I'm watching The Girls Next Door (Commentary on, of course. Those girls are hilarious.)
I've been working: Not exactly more hours than usual, but more hours per day, if that makes sense. 8 hour days have kind of morphed into 10 hour days and then a couple of shorter days to even out the time. I'm settling in to my new position at work which was disastrous the first week and much better this week, although it's going to be awhile before I can fix the mistakes from the last person that held it.
I've been eating:Haagen-Dazs ice cream as if that IS my job. I've suddenly shunned my Merlot sorbet and Phish Food in favor of vanilla swiss almond and lemon sorbet Haagen-Dazs. A few days in to this new obsession of mine and my mom pointed out that it was my estranged fathers favorite ice cream. Odd how certain traits are destined to develop, even when you never spent any significant time with the person.
I've been drinking: Coffee at a pace so rapid its as if they're going to stop making it, and cans of Red Bull and Rockstar like I can't live without them.
I've been loving: My crush is still holding strong. Very strong. Unhealthy levels of strong, really. It's frustrating and awesome all at the same time.
I've been reading: The Last Lecture. Granted, I'm the last person to read those "OMG Oprah loved it so I have to have it, it'll change your life!" books. My aunt sent me this one and although I can really only handle a chapter at a time, it seems to be going pretty well thus far. Next up is Breaking Dawn, although I said I gave up on that series after book one when it started descending in to crappy writing and characterization. However, I feel obligated to finish it now. OH AND, I'm extremely traumatized by the fact that Rolling Stone is shrinking to regular size. Rolling Stone is supposed to be larger than all the other magazines. Helloooo!
I've been listening to: The guitar boys still reign supreme, although for awhile I gave up on all music all together. Broken by Lifehouse, Where I Stood by Missy Higgins, and that damn Miley Cyrus song 7 Things are probably my favorite random songs at the moment. Also extremely surprisingly, I like the majority of the Shwayze record. Total MTV gimmick band, but I'm down. It's fun end of summer jams, although the majority of them sound pretty much the same.
I've been wearing: Black, and lots of it. It's confusing to me, because this is really not my bag. I'm a color girl. Reds, and pinks, and blues, and greens. I'm in to all of it. However, the last four shirts I've purchased have been black, and not so casual. I was shopping at work on my off day last week, in my jeans and heels,black, total cleavage baring shirt, and my smart girl glasses. Hot!boss asks me what I'm doing today since I'm all dressed up. I take mock offense, and then tell him that "I'm cute when I'm not here!" and he retorted with "Those are not just walking around doing nothing clothes." I spend 90% of my week in red and khaki and pajamas. When I'm not working and I have something to do, even if it's just shopping, I feel the need to dress nicely so I feel awesome when I'm out and about. It's the little things!
I've been thinking: I desperately need to reconnect with my creative side. I feel very, very lost in that respect and it's beyond frustrating.
I've been obsessing about: Finding new artwork for my bedroom. I took my old art down and now my room looks all bare and sad. This quest has been going on for about a month and I'm so over it I can't tell you. I'm very close to asking hot!boss to go take pictures of pretty things for me and I'll frame them and put them up. I hate looking at naked walls.
Soooo, I think that's it for now. Off to work! Again....
I was reading Matt Nathanson's latest blog, and a bit of it struck me. (He types like an ADD 12 year old, so I did some purely technical editing here.)
There are rare moments when i feel confident in my job as a songwriter, as a singer, as a musician. True, pure confidence, and it is super empowering, and it always leads to writing more songs. There is this rad momentum that goes along with true confidence that you can't get any other place. It doesn't last, but if you stay out of it's way long enough... that's where the songs come from. That's where you allow yourself to just ride creativity and really cool shit happens.
The flip side to this, unfortunately, is more common. Being insecure, being scared, and feeling entitled. Seeing success in others, ignoring all the good shit you have and getting pissed because you feel like you deserve more.
That's my default setting.
It takes a lot to see that this thinking is a dead end, and even when I do, it doesn't stop the thoughts from coming. But this is all pretty human stuff. Everybody goes through this in one way or another. What i am telling you is not a revelation.
Every time I feel entitled, every time I start thinking I am not getting what i deserve in this business. I am put in my place by the music. There is always a record, or a song that blows my mind out of my head. That reminds me I still have a very long way to go before I'm allowed to feel entitled to anything. I guess that's what great art does though, it puts things into perspective, and at the same time, it kicks out the walls. It blows your mind...humbles you, and at the same time it lights you up and makes you feel completely unstoppable.
It's just interesting to me that someone who DOES deserve more than he gets out of the industry manages to keep this perspective, when apparently there comes a point where you have all of the success that you could want and still manage to come off like you're entitled to more of it. Maybe that's an attitude that comes along with making decisions that get your personal life splashed across the tabloids, I'm not sure. Maybe it comes along with falling in "love" with high profile blondes, running over the people that helped to shape you in to who you are, and alienating the fan base that helped to fund an enviable guitar collection and a watch fetish. If that's true, that high profile success turns you into a person who has to actively try to convince others has not turned in to a douche, then I hope the Matt Nathanson's, Ari Hests, and Jason Mraz's never get there.
Mornings make me extremely introspective. I'm not sure why, but if I were to venture a guess, I'd say it has to do with the fact that its truly the only part of my day that I'm really alone. Any other part of the day is filled with the incessant chatter of coworkers, the click of keys as I IM, or the obnoxiously loud sounds my phone makes when someone calls or texts. Not that I mind. I love being the center of attention and generally crave interaction with other people. Which is why I have such a hard time letting it go.
I live in a college town, which is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I'm never at a shortage for new interesting people to color my world. On the other hand, eventually they all leave, and I get to be the girl who stayed too long at the party and is just kind of stumbling around with her drink, looking for someone to pick her up and take her home.
I feel like I'm always saying goodbye to someone, and this week is no exception. I get too attached too fast, even though every logical cell in my brain tells me very clearly, "Back off, you moron. We've done this before. It's never fun for you and it always ends with you crying yourself to sleep, listening to some sappy boy sing a weepy guitar ballad." It never really matters, my heart always wins over logic.
I know better.
Since I was five years old I've been shown over and over again that the men in my life will do nothing but destroy my world, break my heart, and not look back when they go. But I refuse to be one of those jaded, cynical girls who can't let anyone in because there's just too much damage for someone to repair. So it ends up with me being completely the opposite and inviting people in to completely wreck me and take pieces with them when they go.
It's all become routine to me. Somewhat of a joke to the people who see it coming a mile away. There is also a list of excuses and explanations that come up every time as well. Maggie, you've just got daddy issues. Maggie, you knew he was going to leave. Maggie, you're just way too intimidating. Maggie, you know there's nothing good that can come with getting involved with a musician. At this point I can only joke about it and try to break the cycle.
The latest in this parade of heartache is different than the others in the sense that he gets the satisfaction of a very firm "I told you so. I told you not to get attached to me. I warned you, and I tried to fight you off and eventually you won and I had to stop. I hate that I'm just another one falling into line with your abandonment issues." He's not saying these things in a smug, self serving way, but in a sad, sympathetic way. He's surprisingly maybe the first one to make me think about how hard this can be from the other side of it. It can't always be easy being the one doing the leaving either. The last time I did this it was different. All fights and dramatics, tears and unfinished business. The last one went out with a scream, this one is going out with a whimper.
So this morning I woke up with two thoughts in my head. 1) I really wish that a perfect cup of coffee could just appear on my nightstand when I open my eyes. 2) I really should blog about some of the musicians that I love. Well, my coffee is in hand, so its time to move on to thought number two! So I give you, in no particular order, a completely random list of musicians that I'm either currently or have been addicted to.
1. Matt Nathanson - Matt is one of those artists that I just want to see win. He's got amazing music and works his ass off to get it heard. He's hilarious and has talent to burn, for sure. I'm holding off on gushing here, because I'm finally seeing him live next week and I'm sure I'll be at no shortage of blogs about him then. So for now, I just recommend All We Are, and Come On Get Higher, but there is NO shortage of amazing songs from him.
2. Matt Morris - I ended up seeing him live by accident a few years back. He was the impromptu opener at a Justin Timberlake club show, and I completely fell in love. Make no mistake, he's hardly a pop star mousekeeter, and his voice is nothing short of amazing. He's a little more subdued recorded, but his live vocals blew me away. Check out Let Me and You Were Mine for now, look for new music soon, and in the meantime, follow him (and me, and Nikki) via Twitter.
3. Jason Mraz - I'm hip to the fact that Mraz is not everyones cup of tea. He's a little earthy, a little hippie, and a little random lyrically. However, he's another one of those undercover talents who has a voice that just does not quit, and hidden gems pepper his albums and live sets like you wouldn't believe. He's also got a new album out soon. We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things drops May 20th! In the meantime, check out the demo version of I'm Yours, the acoustic version of Please Don't Tell Her, or check out his Youtube account for other great acoustic performances and random road blogs that will make you laugh and wish you were on vacation.
4. Nellie Mckay - Jazzy, quirky, and irreverent. When her first album, Get Away From Me was released, Nellie was compared to a female Eminem and not without reason. Her throwback voice and Broadway singalong beats are contrastingly matched with snarky lyrics and clever wordplay. She's the real deal, and three albums in is finally finding some mainstream love via prime time TV. Check out I Wanna Get Married, and The Dog Song for sure.
5. Sara Bareilles - I'm know what you're going to say, and I'm right there with you. If I have to hear Love Song one more time I'm going to pull my ears off and beat someone with them too. But I can't not put her on the list, because her album was easily one of my favorites to have been released in the past few years. Her voice is flawless and her lyrics are divine. Check out Gravity, City, and Between The Lines for the story of my love life these days.
6. Lucy Woodward - Her debut album While You Can, is easily in my top ten cds of all times. I consider any cd that I don't have to skip tracks on a feat to be admired, and Lucy delivered flawlessly. Check out Standing, and Is This Hollywood (the song that inspired half of a novel that I started writing and will finish one day, I swear.) She checked in on the tail end of the pop princess boom, but still has a lot to say.
7. Butch Walker - Any mainstream radio listener has heard Butch Walker's work and more than likely has no idea. He's produced and written for the likes of Kelly Clarkson, Pink, Simple Plan, and Avril Lavigne. However, he's also had an impressive career on his own, from his days with the Marvelous 3, to his solo efforts, to his recent jaunts as Butch Walker and the Lets Go Out Tonites. Do yourself a favor and track down his This Is Me Justified and Stripped recording, or his new live release Leavin' The Game On Luckie street. You will not be disappointed. Butch pours his heart out live, and has lyrics that will tear your heart out, stomp on it, and not bother to apologize. Check out Sober, Joan, Don't Move, or just pick a random track. They're all equally amazing.
8. Gavin Degraw - I'll save the gushing for Nikki (she's all about it these days!) But I will say this; so much more than what you may have heard on the radio. Gavin has a soulful voice that is hardly represented by the song that all but launched his career. Get your hands on the stripped version of his first album, Chariot. Also, check out Belief, We Belong Together, his cover of A Song For You, and buy the new album May 6th.
9. Ari Hest - You've gotta give Ari Hest props for the way that he's embracing the digital age of music. Check out 52. 52 songs in 52 weeks in 2008! That aside, check out my favorite song, Strangers Again, and his cover of the Leonard Cohen classic Hallelujah, which from the first moment I heard it quickly became the definitive version for me.
10. Anna Nalick - We're 2 weeks out from Anna's second album, Shine, and I'm still not tired of her first offering. Lush and gorgeous instrumentation compliment her sweet and dreamy vocals. You may have heard Breathe (2am) on your radio a couple of years back, but as with many of the artists I fall in love with, you have to venture past the first single to find the depth in the album. Check out Satellite, Shine, and Wreck of the Day for more.
The fact of the matter is, I could pimp my favorite artists all day. Honorable mentions include:
A Fine Frenzy, Mutemath, Sam Phillips (I cannot stop listening to Reflecting Light right now.), Adele, Aqualung, Ben's Brother, Bittersweet, The Bird and the Bee, She and Him, Cold War Kids, David Gray, Death Cab for Cutie, Howie Day, Vaughan Penn, Inara George, Ingrid Michaelson, Jon Mclaughlin, Rasputina, John Mayer (he'll get his own blog entry someday, and we all know it), Lisa Loeb (she'll also get her own blog entry, I'm sure),and Kasey Chambers.
