So, I'm winding down from "celebrating" getting another year older today. And it's funny, that whole getting older thing doesn't at all bother me today. But I'm not going to lie, something does.
We live in an age where we're instantly accessibly to each other. There's texts, MySpace or Facebook comments, blogs, etc. And I am totally not gonna knock it because I have met most of my closest friends by means of the Internet and I likely wouldn't have met them otherwise. But at the same time, it's totally become a crutch for us as a society.
I've probably mentioned this before but I work from home. If I don't go out to my mom's or the gym, I could likely go days without seeing an actual person. And for me, that's insanely hard because I'm a very social person. I enjoy real, human interaction. Now, I get it less and less. So, I'm guessing that's why I'm sorta bothered by the way things turned out for me this year on the birthday.
I woke this morning to several texts from friends all around with birthday wishes and it totally made me smile. I'm appreciative of being thought about, that's for sure, especially when some are from people I don't speak to all the time. I then get online and I get to Myspace and see that I've got a bunch of comments, too. Some from the same people who sent texts, too and I appreciate that, as well. I really do.
But you know what was most startling? I got TWO phone calls today. TWO. One from a friend who I've sorta not been hanging with or talking to as much as I should because we're in such a close proximity now and one from a friend of my sister's (which was totally a surprise and so funny how she sang). But I'm still sorta surprised that some of my closest friends either waited til late to even reach out (via text) or didn't reach out at all or I didn't get a call from.
It kinda hurts because as ridiculous as it sounds, birthdays are sorta a gage for me of where I stand with someone. It might be irrational but logic creeps into my mind with it. There are 365 days a year...and sure, some people are bad with dates and remembering on which date someone was born but I figure, hey, if I'm important to you, you might just have it in you to remember that this was the day I was born. And that you might, maybe, just have it in your to pick up a phone and actually SAY you're happy I was born or something. I swear, I'm totally not a self centered person but I guess this is the one day a year I kinda enjoy being reminded that I'm loved. And I certainly don't feel like I'm not loved...don't get me wrong. But, eh, I don't know what I feel right now...I guess a little hurt. But people have their lives...and things going on in them and all and I can't honestly expect anything but that's also sorta sad to me. I'll get over it. I know I will...I always do, but I guess that whole less and less actual human interaction makes days like this a little harder.
*sigh* I'm done. Off the soapbox now.